Here's my two cents: I'm a nuisance.
These words falling out of my face, I think I mean them.
It's been a year since we spoke, you see. It's been a year this May.
If she'd listen to me? For once, I'd tell her everything.
So now I'm opening up. Like she gives a fuck.
"This was never supposed to happen babe, this isn't us."
Love is patient, love is kind. Then why am I losing my mind?
Sleepless nights, I'm beside myself.
My obsessive incumbency is blinding.
I get all up in my head and then I act too late.
I hate myself, I hate and hate.
Me, I'm a mess.
Not the kind that you would clean or fix, but the kind that you detest.
I've been thinking about... Well, nothing worth talking about.
I guess I just got ahead of myself.
I still rip my hair out.
I still wear the same jeans.
We still don't speak, but I know she still blames me.
I can't blame her, though. I'd hate me too if I lived with myself.
I got a good look at myself and I think I understand what she was talking about.
"Gotta put me first" I said.
True. Can't be putting someone else higher than you.
So where I fucked up was, I hated myself, and by proxy I started hating her, too.
I spent two years living in that apartment.
Marijuana addict bassist scraping resin out to smoke it again.
But that's just the half of it, you see.
The very same person really came through for me when they kicked me out of 2111 (that's where we made the first album) and I wouldn't change how it when down for the world now.
I just with that I could make it up to him somehow.
Produced on the MPC1000, “Nosthaigia” documents time spent in Thailand via regional music. Available here in an exclusive color vinyl. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 24, 2024
